Moment by Moment

I'm writing this post from Bangkok. I'm here to support my brother during his treatment/recovery. We received an initial diagnosis 2 days ago ... But there are more details to work out.

When I first heard the diagnosis, I immediately went online to start researching the condition -- but then I stopped. There was just too much info out there and I didn't have enough details to really know what I was looking for. There were good statistics and scary statistics -- I thought it was best to hold off on doing more research until I had more answers ... As of right now, we're still waiting.

It's been hard to stop my mind from wandering. For the past two days I've just concentrated on things one task at a time. Wake up. Work out. Errands. Pack. Cook. Eat. Sleep.

The fact that I'm here in Bangkok feels strange. I think it's because I'm not on vacation. People ask me - business or pleasure? Neither really.

It felt strange seeing my parents sitting outside the hospital waiting for me. The last time I saw them was when I dropped my brother off in Bangladesh for treatment -- and that was just a couple minutes of tearful hugs.

Now here we are.

I don't know what to make of all of this -- seeing my brother in a hospital bed; tubes attached to him; unable to move his legs -- though a tiny bit of sensation has started to come back.

We're all trying to be strong. Trying to stop our minds from wandering. Trying to take it one moment at a time.
L