Although I joined a gym in the beginning of 2006 and I worked out frequently, I didn't watch what I was eating. In fact, my eating habits were terrible - they went from eating whatever I want to feeling guilty and not eating anything at all. I just couldn't find a balance -- I just didn't put in the time and effort to find that balance. My life seemed to be a constant cycle of workout, eat whatever I want, be disciplined for a while, then go on summer vacation, stumble through my birthday, Thanksgiving, and Christmas, feel terrible for a while and then start over in February - only to start the cycle again in June. That was just not good enough!
Things further changed in my life in July 2011 when I started the New Rules of Lifting for Women program. I bought the book, read it, created my workout chart, and got to it. For the first time in my life I did something from start to finish. Completing this long program (over 6 stages) in itself felt like a huge success to me. The discipline I developed was priceless. In addition to that, I found my love for weight lifting. I started out lifting light weights, but as I went through the program and discovered that I was getting stronger with each session, I started to feel better and better -- and what's even more rewarding, I started to feel confident. I started to see that I was strong! The evidence was right there in front of me -- what an exhilarating feeling. I no longer had to pretend or try to convince myself that I was strong -- I actually WAS. It was awesome.
Completing that program helped prepare me for my next fitness adventure which was the discovery of CrossFit in April 2012. It was through CrossFit that I really learned how to push myself, trust myself, believe in myself, and face my fears ... it has been so exhilarating! Seeing my weight lifting progress to heights that I never though were imaginable was an incredible high -- add to that the way my body was changing, and I was hooked!
Finally my goal was to do whatever I needed to do in order to make sure I could perform the way I wanted to perform. This meant eating right -- food as fuel -- for my workouts. In September 2012 I took it one step further and I did my first Whole Life Challenge. My results were incredible. After that, my whole attitude towards food and eating completely changed.
I was no longer afraid to eat. I developed a healthy relationship with food and a loving relationship with fitness. I went on to become a Certified Fitness Nutritionist and a Certified Personal Trainer. Living a healthy lifestyle has become my passion.
In addition to CrossFit/weight lifting, I found my passion in MMA (mixed martial arts). I've been learning Brazilian Jiu-jitsu, Kajukenbo, and Muay Thai. I absolutely love it and feel like I've found my calling in this sport.
Finding my fitness passion helps me stay focused on my fitness goals. It drives my habits and my decisions. It grounds me and makes me happy.
That being said, I haven't reached my goal yet. I still stumble. I still have setbacks. I'm constantly making an effort. I guess the difference is that it doesn't feel like such a drag anymore. It's a given, just like it's a given that my life will be chaotic, it's a given that I will need to work for this. I don't resent this. I accept it as a challenge -- and I will keep workin' it out until I succeed.